This Week In The NFC North » Brats & Beer

November 7, 2006
posted under: NFC North

It was a cruel turn of events for Packer fans this weekend, seeing the Green & Gold take a giant step backwards in their loss to the Bills. Last week they looked like a real, live professional football team and Sunday it seemed like they had been replaced by the Keystone Cops. I particularly like Chris Havel’s characterization of the game in the Press-Gazette today:

The great mystery Sunday wasn’t whether the Packers would rally to defeat the Buffalo Bills. It was which of these two things the Packers would run out of first: Feet to shoot themselves in or bullets with which to do it.

Well played.

But Packer fans weren’t the only ones scratching their heads at the end of the day Sunday. It was a crazy, upside down day all across the division.

Up at the Compensating For Bill Ford’s Small Penis Field, the Detroit Lions (gasp!) got a win. And not just any win, but a 30-14 victory over the mighty Atlanta Falcons, a team with a winning record.

Just a week ago all the TV bobbleheads were falling all over themselves to heap praise on Michael Vick for turning the corner and becoming the quarterback everyone said/hoped/wished he could be. It turns out that was just a temporary course correction because Sunday Vick was right back to his old tricks. Two turnovers by Ron Mexico, an interception and a fumble, turned into 14 first-half points for the Lions, and for the game he completed just 17 of 32 passes for 163 yards as the Dirty Birds of Hotlanta went scoreless in the second half.

But give credit also to the Falcons defense, which made Jon Kitna look like Johnny U. as he completed 20 of 32 passes for 321 yards, while giving up 110 yards rushing to Kevin Jones and allowing Roy Williams to gain 138 yards receiving. I have a feeling Atlanta fans and Green Bay fans have more in common than either would care to admit.

And then there was the Minnesota Vikings losing a hard-fought contest to the 49ers by the score of 9-3. (Nine to three? Were they curling or playing football?) Minnesota and San Francisco combined for less offense than the Packers produced against Buffalo, just 371 yards and not a single touchdown. It didn’t help matters that the Vikes turned the ball over three times and allowed three sacks.

This is the second straight loss for the Lavender Lovelies, who fall to 4-4 on the season. (That really adds salt to the wound, doesn’t it? Green Bay could have been tied with these bozos.) With four division games remaining, including a December meeting at Lambeau Field, it looks like Minnesota is going to be hard pressed to keep their heads above water the rest of the way. It was probably a good thing they didn’t give Brad Johnson any kind of contract extension or big bonus.

And finally, we have the sad tale of the mighty Bears. And by sad, I of course mean fall flat on your ass laughing. Yes, all the mouth-breathers in Chicago can pack away their dreams of a 16-0 season because the Milquetoast of the Midway lost this weekend to the Miami Dolphins.

If the Monday night near catastrophe against Arizona exposed some obvious cracks in the Chicago squad, then Miami managed to pry those open with a crowbar in their 31-13 victory. Rex Grossman threw three picks and lost a fumble, leading to three Miami scores, while that vaunted defense gave up 157 yards rushing to Ronnie Brown.

The loss to the hapless Dolphins might not stop Chicago’s inexorable march to a division title, but at least now we won’t (shouldn’t) have to hear endless comparisons to that 1985 squad. The good news for the Bears is they won’t have to do that “Super Bowl Shuffle II” video.