Will This Tundra Freeze? » Brats & Beer

December 12, 2006
posted under: Lambeau Field, Packers

Artificial turf at Lambeau Field? In the immortal words of the immortal Vince Lombardi, “What the Hell is going on out there?”

Last week the Green Bay Packers announced they plan to replace the Frozen Tundra next year with a new surface called DD GrassMaster, described as a “natural grass surface reinforced with man-made fibers.” According to the official press release, the new turf still uses natural grass but the soil is woven with artificial fibers to help hold it together. Designed by Desso DLW Sports Systems in Belgium, DD GrassMaster is used by the Steelers, Eagles and Broncos.

That all sounds cool and high-tech, but maybe it’s a little too cool and high-tech for Green Bay, Wisconsin. Reinforced natural grass sounds a little too much like low-fat cheese or alternative cooking oils: It might be better for you in the long run, but are you really going to enjoy it? Please tell me they aren’t going to start serving tofu bratwurst at Curly’s Pub.

On the upside of all this, they could pave over the field with asphalt and the stadium in Green Bay would still be 1000% times better than the Humpty Dome in Minneapolis or Bill Ford’s Compensation for Having a Small Penis Field in Detroit. It is still Lambeau Field, the same hallowed ground of Starr, Nitschke, and Lombardi, and it is outdoors in the elements where real men play football.