Looking Into The Crystal Bratwurst » Brats & Beer

September 9, 2006
posted under: Packers, predictions

Tomorrow marks the opening of another Packer season, and I’m feeling all the angst and trepidation of a little kid on Christmas Eve thinking back on all the bad things he’s done in the past year. Maybe Santa didn’t notice all those times I said H-E-double hockey sticks (Dad says it all the time, you know) or maybe he’ll even forgive all those minor transgressions, but there might just be a lump of coal in that stocking. The anticipation is killing me; let’s just get this thing over with already.

On this eve of the home opener against the Bears, I suppose it’s time to lay it on the line, to put my bratwurst and my beer where my mouth is, so to speak. As a True Beliver, of course, I’d say Green Bay will go 16-0, win the Super Bowl, and glorious rose petals will rain down across Packer Nation for another decade or more, but Mrs. BratsNBeerGuy has cautioned me time and again against building up my exceptations, so I’ll try and be realistic. Well, a little anyway.

Worst case scenario, as I see it, the Packers go 9-7 this year. I’ll wait for you to recover from your fit of gut-busting laughter. Sure, the Green & Gold could easily go 0-16 I suppose, but looking at the schedule I see nine games the Packers could and should win: Saints, Rams, Cardinals, Bills, Jets, 49ers, a sweep of Detroit and a split with Minnesota. Notice I’m giving the Bears a sweep of the division series — I said this was the worst case scenario. But the sting of those losses will subside quickly, because I see Chicago going 8-8 and finishing in a tie with the Vikings while the Packers head back to the playoffs as a division champion. Hah!

Now there is some wiggle room here for an even better season, but only die hard Packer fans need read on; I don’t want to cause the rest of you needless injury from falling off your barstools due to excessive knee slapping. First there’s Miami, a team I really want the Packers to beat, and I think they could after watching the Dolphins on Thursday against the Steelers. That game comes in Week 7 and by then if the defense has shaped itself into the AJ Hawk Experience, they should be able to pressure Culpepper into lots of interceptions.

Then there’s Minnesota at the Hubie Dome. The Pack has always struggled in the 10,000 Lakerless state, but if Green Bay could put up points and protect the lead so that traitor Longwell doesn’t get the chance to kick the game winner, then there’s our sweep of the Vikqueens. There’s also the Eagles game in Philly, another team and city that has caused the Green & Gold no small amount of pain and suffering. The Iggles are not the toughest team around anymore, of course neither were they last year either. But a confident Packer team arriving in Philadelphia at 2-1 (or 3-0) might be able to get the job done. Throw in a win against the Bears tomorrow (I’ll allow them the split with the season finale in Chicago and Green Bay sitting its starters by then) and we could see Packer Nation revelling in an 11-5 or (gasp!) 12-4 finish. Huzzah!

Unrealistic you say? I’ll accept that, but the schedule, Greg Jennings, and the possible return to form of one Ahman Green all give me hope. And who ever said being a fan has anything to do with being realistic? I’ve never been a fan of realism anyway.