I Suck At Picking Football Games » Brats & Beer

January 20, 2007
posted under: Colts, effin Bears, NFL playoffs, Patriots, Saints

The title of this post should not be taken as a boast, just a statement of fact. I do suck at picking football games. But with the conference championships less than 24-hours away, I suppose it’s time to put it on the line and pick some winners.

The big winner I think will be us, the viewers. Both the games tomorrow should be pretty entertaining, and at least one of them should actually be a good contest. I am of course talking about the Patriots-Colts tilt in the AFC Championship. As much as I think Indy is a wussy, fineness team (and they are), they have built up a real hatred for New England, so I expect a lot of smashing of mouths and hats on hats. This is the championship after all.

I’m taking the Patriots to win a close one, maybe one decided by a Steve Gostkowski field goal. (Wouldn’t that be an ironic turn of events?) But here’s why I’m taking the Pats to win, and subsequently why I suck at picking football games. It has nothing to do with stats or past experience or scouting reports, I just don’t like the Colts. In fact, outside the other NFC North teams and Tampa Bay, I think Indianapolis is the team a dislike the most. Why? Well, they moved from Baltimore, for one thing. And not just moved, but literally escaped in the middle of the night. And they play inside like all the other wussy-assed teams I hate. (The NFL should mandate that all conference championships should be played outdoors, regardless of who the home team is.) Oh, and I really don’t like Peyton Manning either.

But it’s not all just because I hate the Colts; I’m rooting for the Patriots because I like the idea of dynasties. I know a lot of fans out there are hating the fact that New England is in the title picture again, and they like the idea of parity and that any team can rise from worst to first, but I do not. When the Packers are again a playoff caliber team, I don’t want them to be a flash in the pan, I want them to be at top form for years and years. And the Patriots, despite everything we hear about parity, have proven that it can be done. That gives me hope it can be replicated in Green Bay.

The NFC Championship, on the other hand, isn’t so easy to pick. On the one side we have the Bears, and I hate the Bears and everything they stand for. On the other side, there’s the Saints, and the Saints have a terrible owner, wear ugly uniforms, and they play indoors. So who’s the lesser of these evils? Fortunately, I don’t really have to pick this one, because I don’t think Chicago is going to win, unless a blizzard sweeps into town tomorrow morning. The Bears just are not good enough to steal it from New Orleans; heck they barely beat a sucky Seattle team. It won’t be easy for the Saints, they’ll have to bring their A-game, but in the end Chicago’s defense is too banged up and their offense is too awful to prevail.

So there you have it, Patriots and Saints in the Super Bowl. Unless New Orleans falls apart in the cold wind coming off Lake Michigan. Or New England lets Joseph Addai run all over them.

See, I suck at picking football games.