Do Or Die? Over And Done » Brats & Beer

September 17, 2008
posted under: Vikings suck

In these two the Vikings trust?

Normally I’m not one to revel in the misery and misfortunes of others, but I’ll make an exception when it comes to the Minnesota Vikings. Gus Frerotte, the quarterback of the future? How rich. That had me rolling in the aisle today.

I’m sure, though, that Norse Nation isn’t laughing at the sight of their longship listing badly and taking on water once again. There probably are those ready to chuck Tarvaris Jackson overboard, but level-headed Vikes fans, if there are any, should direct that berserker rage instead at the braintrust that set sail in this ship of fools. Zygi Wilf might fancy himself the Jerry Jones of the North but he’s really just an over-eager real estate developer, and Brad Childress as head coach makes Marty Mornhinweg look like Tom Landry.

This tragedy at sea is made even more hilarious by the fact that Wilf spent $65 million in guaranteed money on free agents this season in a blind attempt to buy a championship, or at least a playoff berth. This year was do or die for the Vikes in their drive to get the state legislature to pony up money for a new stadium, to convince the good people of Minnesota that not only was he serious about winning but that he could bring home the spoils of victory. However, the Lavender & Lace Gang has been sacked and pilloried in an 0-2 start and Wilf, driven mad by the sirens’ song, is steering for the rocks.

T-Jack is just the outward symptom of the more serious case of scurvy infecting the crew the of SS Vikings, of course. They’re rudderless with Wilf and Childress in the wheelhouse, and shoveling more cash into the boilers is only taking them over the falls that much faster. Superior, they say, never gives up her dead, but you might want to have the Coast Guard standing by anyway for search and rescue just in case there are any survivors from this wreck.