Brats & Beer » Football

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now about the misfortunes of former Vikings running back Onterrio Smith, but for those who have been out of the country let me briefly recap: The Whizzinator got himself suspended from the NFL for violations of the banned substances policy (he likes to smoke the ganja), so he joined the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL to try and resurrect his career, but this past weekend Smith was cut from the Bombers’ roster. It seems he reported to training camp with a foot injury which kept him out of practice and the first exhibition game, and then when he did get a chance to play, the former Viking only carried the ball for seven yards on two carries and lost a fumble. (Classic line from the ESPN story by Len Pasquarelli quoting Winnipeg general manager Brandan Taman: “Toronto’s suspended NFL guy [Ricky Williams] gets all the accolades, but our suspended NFL guy, despite all the baggage and the [injured] foot, is pretty darned good, too,” Taman said.)

It has been noted in several places that Smith’s options are pretty slim at this point, but here’s an idea that just might work: He should pull a Bosom Buddies and join the Women’s Professional Football League. The WPFL season doesn’t start until July 22, so there’s still time for Smith to get into camp and win a roster spot, he’d get to meet girls, and maybe he’d even be able to put up some decent stats in that league. Just trying to be helpful here.

And the survey says, Brett Favre is still one of the most popular athletes in America. The Harris Poll released their survey of the top sports stars last week, and No. 4 came in third behind Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. I came across this item while reading Deadspin over the weekend, but they seem rather dubious of the results of this poll in part because Favre was ranked so high. I’m not sure why it should be surprising, though, given that he’s been the third or fourth most popular sports figure for nearly a decade now. Sure, he had a bad season last year, and to be sure we all take issue with the amount of press coverage devoted to every sneeze and non sequitur, but as for the man what is there to not make him popular among the general public? He’s practically the face of the NFL these days, the last of an old guard still battling despite the odds.

Not that this poll doesn’t reveal some oddities of American society. Kobe Bryant is back in the top 10 after being left out last year. I guess you get a one-year suspension in popularity for (alleged) rape. Meanwhile, Barry Bonds cracks into the top 10 for the first time, which does make you wonder if this poll is measuring the famous or the infamous. And the poll does offer hard evidence, as if we needed hard evidence, of just how fickle fame can be: Falling out of the top 10 this year were Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Donovan McNabb, and Ben Rothlisberger.

Am I the only one who thinks the national press is paying an inordinate amount of attention to who is and who isn’t at Packers training camp this year? The AP, especially, has really stepped up its attendance checking duty in Green Bay, first sounding the alarm that Brett Favre is not in camp on Monday, then sounding surprised when he shows up on Tuesday. And each story carries the same tone of “Mike McCarthy has lost control of his troops” and “there’s a player rebellion going on.” Of course, they don’t come right out and say it, but that seems to be the implication we’re supposed to draw. Why are they out to scuttle McCarthy’s debut season before it even begins?

I did find the Press-Gazette’s report on Favre’s press conference pretty amusing, though, especially when he was talking about all the different terminology in this new offense and he said, “For example, we have a call ‘Pennsylvania,’ which means, well, I’m not quite sure what it means yet, but I completed it, so that’s a positive.” Classic.

Matt Millen strikes another blow for effective management in the NFL. The Lions on Wednesday signed Ross Verba to a deal that will pay the former Packer defensive lineman $4 million to play this season. According to ESPN, the contract gives Verba a $2.2 million signing bonus and a base salary of $1.8 million, but the deal could be worth $20 million over five years if the team exercises an option next year. Four million bucks for a guy that didn’t play at all in 2003 due to an injury and sat out all of last year after the Browns released him? Apparently the Ford family is doing so well they have money to burn, and Millen is more than happy to oblige. I’d be willing to go fill a couple cans of gasoline and to help out. Burn, baby, burn.

It must be the dog days of the off season, because I’m thinking about punters. Specifically, I find myself rooting for Jon Ryan, the Canadian footballer Green Bay picked up in February to challenge BJ Sander. Ryan holds the CFL single-season record for punts with an average of 50.6 yards set last year. Of course, as Press-Gazette is quick to point out, Canadian league punters are coached to drive the ball for distance rather than kick for hang time, but maybe we can sign a couple track stars to play on the coverage team. Or maybe he’s really accurate and can nail those kicks into the corner. Just anything to get our dismal punting game out of the basement.

Ryan’s coming to the Packers also has a bizarre twist to it. Last year he played for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (now the home of one Onterrio McWhizzinator), so when he left the CFL for the riches of American football, the Bombers signed Duncan O’Mahoney from the BC Lions as his replacement. Unfortunately, O’Mahoney never arrived at training camp over the weekend. Seems he decided to go on a walkabout or something instead of reporting to the team. The wayward punter has been located safe and sound, though the team is already looking for another new punter to replace their replacement.

I really wanted to post something uproariously funny about the fact that the Lions traded quarterback Joey Harrington to Miami, but despite the collective wisdom of several lagers consumed this evening, all I can come up with are these salient points:

• Matt Millen drafted Joey Harrington in the first round
• Matt Millen traded Joey Harrington for a provisional sixth-round pick
• All of this has something to do with Joey Harrington

I am a little disappointed that we won’t get to enjoy seeing AJ Hawk maul Joey H. several times this season, although it will still be pretty entertaining to see Jon Kitna, Cade McCown, or Shawn King (or whoever else walks in off the street to play QB for the Lions) get the business end of the Green Bay linebacker blitz.

Onterrio “Mr. Whizzinator” Smith is getting back into football — in Canada. The former Vikings running back, who was suspended from the NFL last year for being a general dumbass, signed a two-year deal this week to play for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. You might think it a gamble for the Bombers to sign someone who scrubbed out of pro football after three failed drug tests and having his Whizzinator confiscated by airport security, but the CFL has no drug abuse policy. Also, the Bombers finished in the basement of their conference last year with a 5-13 record, so I’m guessing they’ll take anyone who might give them 1,000 yards (914.4 meters) rushing. And in case you’re wondering, the Blue Bombers play the Toronto Argonauts in Ontario on July 8. Mark your calanders! (Thanks to The Sideliner for the graphic.)

Everyone, it seems is getting their due. Javon Walker, who was traded away to the Denver Broncos, finally got the “respect” (that’s what the kids are calling it these days) he’s been begging for: A five-year deal worth $40 million. Denver was smart, though, to add a clause to the contract that demands Walker be healthy in order to get his first big bonus check next March. (Oh, and as a parting shot, Walker set the record straight by saying that it wasn’t Brett Favre who soured him on Green Bay, it was Ted Thompson.)

Up in Green Bay, meanwhile, Donald Driver got a little “respect” of his own. The Packers agreed to give their one remaining tried-and-tested starting receiver a two-year contract extension worth about $4 million, even though Driver went on the record as saying he’s happy to be playing in Green Bay, he’s thrilled to be part of the team, he doesn’t want to be traded, and he would never hold out of training camp or anything to force the team to give him more money. How about that?

Spotted a poll on NFL.com today about backup quarterbacks, which seems to suggest that even the league’s own Web minders are tired of slicing and dicing the draft and free agency and are ready for some real action already. Anyway, the question asked how certain free agent backups would fare on their new teams if they were nominated to the starting role. Among the choices was Iowa State alum Sage Rosenfels; he got all of 2% of the vote. (Doesn’t say much about how eager ISU fans are to answer polls on NFL.com, does it?) Now, I’m not here to suggest that Sage is on par with the Brett Favres and the Tom Bradys of the world, I’m not even suggesting he’s on par with the Trent Dilfers, but I think he should be able to get a little more respect than that. Last year in Miami he almost managed to pull out a couple wins for the Dolphins. How much did Craig Nall ever accomplish for Green Bay? Todd Collins didn’t even complete a pass for the Chiefs last year. I’m just saying let’s give Sage a little more credit than that.

By the way, the top pick in the poll with 42% of the votes was Brian Griese, who signed with the Chicago Bears this Spring. Let’s remember this is a guy who got injured after tripping over his own dog and falling down a flight of stairs. (Hey, that’s what he claimed.) Even a lot of Bears fans weren’t thrilled with the deal, though the sad state of the Midway Monsters passing game was evidenced by the fact that most Chicago fans were happy just to get any quarterback.

Missed this news in the run up to Packers minicamp, but Wisconsin fullback Matt Bernstein joined teammate Brian Calhoun in Detroit last week. Bernstein signed with the Lions as an undrafted free agent in time to join the team’s rookie minicamp over the weekend. No word on the Lion’s Web site on how well he did. Other Badgers signing with pro teams last week included center Donovan Raiola (Rams), DB Levonne Rowan (Eagles), LB Dontez Sanders (Browns), and OL Jason Palmero (Vikings). So, just for you out there keeping score, that makes nine UW players either drafted or signed to NFL teams, none playing in Green Bay.

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